SCREAM!!!

So chorus is again confusing me with scales.  That's not what made me mad though.  There is a kid in the class that DRIVES ME UP THE @#$@$ WALL!!!  I Can't STAND that boy.  He's such a know it all.  It's like I would appreciate your knowledge if you weren't so egotistical about it.  There is a girl in a lot of my other classes that is probably ten times smarter than me and I look up to her.  This guy on the other hand makes me want to punch him in the face.  I was trying to be broad in my statement in saying, in a chorus class, that Native Americans came from the far east (Asia and Oceana) to the Americas.  I did this by demonstrating with my hand that they went towards the right.  He then had to correct me by saying that the natives in fact came across on the Berring Strait...like no shit Sherlock.  Anyone who passes the 5th grade knows that.  Also, I'm in AP US History right now.  I'm not an idiot okay?!?!  Then we were finally learning the piece that the question came from (it was a Hawaiian piece) and our chorus director asked another question, does anyone know the history of the hula?  I said that the hula dance is a complicated series of motions that tells a story.  Then this guy basically repeated me adding more fancy words. Like can you please stop. just stop. stop. now. please. I'm begging you.

                                         XOXOXOXOXOXOXO Mel.      

A Melancholy Melody

Crying because I have to give up piano.  I know, I really need to practice more...but it's difficult sometimes to get into the habit.  And I know that it makes financial sense to discontinue it, but I feel like I let everyone down; my parents, my piano teacher, my family and friends that know that I'm learning. 

Anyway, there is no benefit in dwelling on the past.  I still have my books and I'll still play when I can.  I guess in this way there's no more pressure on me.  When homework lightens up I will definitely sit on that bench again and play.  I love piano and always will.  Without lessons I can still be successful...and maybe once I've spent a while doing that, I can get a teacher again.  I will miss my piano teacher, but maybe when college comes around I will give lessons another try.

                                XOXOXOXO Mel.

Sing For Me!!

So...I took a year off from chorus last year.  I missed it a lot and was excited to be back in my favorite class once again this year.  However, there is a problem.  I feel so disconnected from the chorus.  Like, they went to mars and back while I was gone and are now looking at me like I'm the Martian.  I feel like I have NO friends in that class whatsoever.  Like in my absence people made new friends and don't know how to deal with me anymore.  Chorus doesn't feel like a family to me anymore.  It's like I'm staying with a bunch of long lost relatives from another country.  If it weren't for the fact that I am singing, and back to doing something I love...it would be painful.  Everyone is trying to figure out harmonies by themselves and trying to improve their sight reading.  They have a totally different outlook on chorus in general.  I just sing!  I mean that's it.  Is that so bad?  While I have improved my sight reading skills because of the piano...kind of...I still am sooooo not at the levels of others.  There's this one girl who I swear could teach the class.  There's also a new girl and I really want to make friends with her because...she could be my new Friend in the Chorus.  And sure do I need one.  I'm almost happy for the large amount of AP work...it keeps me from realizing I don't have a life.  I am in desperate need of new friends...if you see any, send them my way please!  
P.S  I got some wonderful complements about my singing today from members of the chorus, that made me happy, but also almost made me feel more lonely...like they know I'm there but are ignoring me purposefully, even though that's probably not the case.

Teenagers

I always used to say that Mean Girls was the teenage bible.  Now I know I was wrong.  Mean Girls is the survival guide...The Perks of Being a Wallflower is the bible.  It shows what actually happens, the real feeings we hold inside ourselves. 

Because well, I've been having this dilemma, you see.  There is a line in this movie that I can relate to the most.  "I'm both Happy and Sad"  And I feel this way all the time.  I used to be depressed and now I'm just trying to be happy.  I have good days and I have bad days, and I'm just waiting for the good to outway the bad.  Today I felt happier than I have in a long time for no justifyable reason.  For once I feel pretty, like I'm worth something, made for something important.  I finally feel like even if it is a struggle doing what I love will no longer feel inadequit.  Finally I can see every picture at once...the big picture and the small.

And you know what?

They all look like pictures that have been developing too long...a.k.a....It's a long time coming but the future looks bright.

                                            -XOXOXOXOXO Mel.

Valentine's Day!!! Song for Thursday, 2/14

I missed yesterday's I know, I've just been busy lately, so this week I'll do one for Saturday. :)

Today's song is one of my favorites right now and I don't know how I couldn't put it as my song for Valentine's day.  It kind of describes my love life right now, and even when you realize while listening to the song that that is not necessarily a good thing, the good still out ways the bad.  I love Ron Pope's music and I hope to hear more from him.

                                                                                                  XOXOXOXOXOXO Mel.

Tuesday's Song! 2/12

Sorry I am so late to post today's song and I am sorry if you don't get to listen until tomorrow! 

So today's song was a Grammys favorite for me.  We sometimes forget how much talent Rihanna has when all of her other business gets put in the news.  This song with its meaningful words and simple piano rhythm have me playing it over and over.  I am also curious to see what the artist singing with her will do in the future

Stay- Rihanna featuring Mikky Ekko

                                                                                         XOXOXOXOXOXOXO Mel.

Favorite Songs of the Week!

Hi Guys!  So I am starting this new segment called songs of the week!  These are songs that I have recently discovered that I love.  I have my five already planned and since Thursday is Valentine's Day they all correlate to the holiday in some way.

Okay so this first song is a "break up song" but it is beautiful in its own right.  I love Bruno Mars for his amazing singing ability and classic style.  So here is Monday's jam...




When I Was Your Man- Bruno Mars

 

                             XOXOXOXOXOXO Mel.

Groopies

True Life: Facebook Saved My Life

If it weren't for group messages I don't think I would have made it through to today.  See, our part of the world has been subjected to snowmeggedon and I've been stuck in my house all weekend.  Luckily so were my friends so we messaged back and forth for hours into the night.  This is literally the only thing that has kept me sane.  The television certainly hasn't helped, everyone knows how bad daytime television is.  Also, nothing came out on DVD that was worth watching, in my opinion.  I feel like this was the biggest waste... 

Anyway, I am just glad that I had them to get rid of my boredom if only for a little while.  :)

                                          XOXOXOXOXO Mel.

Turn That Frown Upside Down!

So my posts have kind of been ehh lately.  I added some fun to my forever alone status but I still can't shake the sadness from the topic.  So, I shall talk about more happy things...

MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP IN LESS THAN A MONTH!!!!!
I finished my math hw already
I got a job
I had an awesomely strange dream last night
Psychology is an awesome/easy class
The math hw that I didn't do yesterday I was able to finish before class started
My friend just formed this awesome page with my other friends and I and its great
Swimming is over in gym
I feel happy right now when like less than an hour ago I felt like crap
I feel energized to do my chores
My cat is hanging out with me
And my horoscope came true!

                                                                                                   XOXOXOXOXO Mel.

I'm in the Zone

The Friend Zone!  It's a wonderful place.  It's capital is Forever Alone which has an annual Anti- Valentine's Day festival.  The Friend Zone is filled with many broken hearts, unrequited love, and those who feel that they'll never find someone.  The Friend Zone is an island but boats go in an out about once a month.  More are added to the population as some leave.  Sarah has been there her whole life.  She has friends that have as well and some that rarely visit.  But Sarah feels like she needs to escape.  She's tried devising a plan but it usually fails before it even starts.  Most of Sarah's best plans are used on her friends even if sometimes they come back to her.  She has a great track record for helping others out though so, a nice and long trip is usually the result.  This makes Sarah proud and happy but like it was said previously, Sarah wants to get away.  She wants to experience life beyond The Friend Zone, beyond Forever Alone.  There are some things she needs to do first though to improve her chances out there.  She has to pack!  Now you would think that it would be easy but she has a lot of clothes that she needs to put in the suitcase.  Her parents, especially her mom; who means well, have been begging her to pack for years.  It's just a lot of work and a lot of disappointment when she fails almost a third of the way done.  It's safe to say that Sarah is tired of trying to pack.  But Sarah knows that the only way improve her chances of happiness she must do it.  I mean what would she be without her fashion?  Crushed; that's what.  (They are very fashionable out there.) 
So, "here goes nothing" Sarah says and puts the first item of clothing in her suitcase.   

Hope you liked it and got at least some of the metaphors. ;)


                              

                                            XOXOXOXOXOXO Mel.

Daylight- Maroon 5

This is beautiful, it almost made me cry!  Enjoy!

                                          XOXOXOXOXOXO Mel.   

I'm Not the Only One!

Okay, so I was going to write out this nice and professional blog post but I decided against it.  So this is what you get instead.

Okay so my plans of world domination failed so I'm still stuck in High School.  And in high school there are these people (shocking right?) called jerks.  I feel like I'm getting a little ahead of myself though.  First off there are these organizations called cliques.  Now cliques aren't all bad, some are funny and beneficial to one's sanity.  Now I could go off into all the cliques that exist but that could take forever and most people can hang with more than one (that's one thing they didn't mention in Mean Girls).  There is I'm afraid, a higher hierarchy, that is simply this...
Above Average
Average/ Normal(You don't actually have to be normal to fit in here)
Below Average

Now there are benefits from each...Above average are the popular kids, they get dates very easily and have a great time in high school!...Below average also get dates really easily (they date each other though, no real out of class dating going on.) and tend to, be unaware of the hierarchy or simply don't care enough to, have a good time.  Then there is normal which I tend to think is where I and most of my friends are.  This is the problem area...one is aware enough to know that you aren't cream of the crop, one can't get dates as easily (you tend to have higher expectations), and your every move is watched and documented so one can't do or be anything to weird or ugly unless one has some redeeming quality.  For me, I'm a bit overweight but I am nice and funny so I guess I can stay!  There are some good things though; loyalty between each other which creates tight bonds, a lot of teens in that boat as well who are experiencing the same things, but there is also a LOT of drama which most of the time makes me want to cry.  I deal with it though by giving advise to my friends and trying to keep the waters clean.  Gossip still occurs and people still get on my nerves but to be honest I wouldn't want to be anywhere else!  And as a plus most of the movies and shows are made about the Average Teenager so...

You're Welcome ;)

                                        XOXOXOXOXOXO Mel. 

A Night Out

So you're going out for the night with the girls so you put on one of those skin tight numbers that are all the rage these days.  You get there with your group of awesome friends and start dancing.  This is going to be a great night.  Then you notice that the guy sipping a coke a few paces away is checking you out, but maybe not, so you just keep dancing but you pull out some of your signature moves just in case.  Nothing happens in the next ten so you go to to the kitchen to grab a coke yourself.  You open the fridge and you turn around noticing you've got company.  It's that guy!  Now that it's just the two of you, not for long for it is the kitchen, you know you've got to say something.  He smiles at you and you realize that not only does he have killer blue eyes, but a oh so devastating smile as well.  You internally roll your eyes though, you know his type.  But to humor yourself you throw him a line. 
"You need another?" You say pointing to the soda.
"Nah...You have a phone?"
"Who doesn't?  You need it?"
"Yes, you mind?" He asks a half smile adorning his face.  You wonder what you'd have to say to get a full smile as you hand him your fairly new IPhone.  
"Be careful with my baby." You say knowing how easily they break.  
"IPhone's suck."  He says typing on the glass.  "Android is where it's at."
"How would you know?"  
"Because I have one."  He says giving yours back and taking his out of his pocket.  "Excuse me while I take this call."  He says backing out of the room.  "Oh and I hope you don't mind having an Android phone number in your contacts."  He winks.
You scroll through your contacts looking for the unfamiliar name.  You find it and the edges of your lips rise automatically.
 

Hoped you liked that.  I decided to be different and write a little fiction.  I thought that second person would be interesting for a change.  What do you think the guy's name should be?

                               XOXOXOXOXO Mel. 

Poop

Okay, so I don't have to explain my titles do I? 
Well, I will anyway.  By poop, I mean that my last post was...poop. 
Okay I'm officially done with that word.  I was just being overly emotional...that happens sometimes.  I think it's part of the reason that I have a blog.  Well, I hope to talk to my bestie soon so we can hang out more often as long as school co-operates. 

Well, my lovelies have a great new years!  I'll put up my resolutions later.
 
                                  XOXOXOXOXOXO Mel.

I'm losing it!

What do you do when you're losing your best friend?
What do you do when you're mad at someone you're never mad at?
What do you do when you feel like everything is out of your control?
Do you sit back and watch it die?
Do you hang on for dear life?
Do you scream at the top of your lungs and hope somebody hears?
Who do I go to?
For who knows me better, than my best friend?
                    
                      XOXOXOXOXO Mel.

Nightmares

Now my dreams are usually weird but this one was awful...  I just wish there was someone I could talk to right now, sigh.  Well here goes...

I was doing a dance class at my house then my dance instructor and one of my friends got into a fight.  They tried to catch me but I ran and jumped a fence.  Then I was in the past at a party my friend was having, No one could see me.  Because I had gone in the past I was now in the middle of the time when that party was and the present.  I went back to the fence and there were cops in the field waiting for me.  When I went back I managed to evade the cops and went back to this big building.  Because I was still in limbo between the two times I was still invisible.  I used this to get around.  Some mean blond woman was searching for me and correctly hypothesized that I wouldn’t be taking elevators because they would cause me to be noticed (if I brushed against them, this time they wouldn't think it was just wind because they were on to me).  I then became partly visible (my own choice, I don't know why) and she caught me but I put some of myself in a secret door in the wall.  I was captured and put in this small “bathroom” and I think I was devising a escape plan when I woke up.

Now I'm just sitting here, just as weirded out as when I woke up.  Because of this I can't look at certain things that were in my nightmare such as...
-my Christmas tree
-facebook ( I went on anyway to help make sure it was just a dream.)
-Harry Potter (While in the dream I established that some of the weird happenings were very Potteresque.
-dance 
-retro bungalows 

I know all of that might seem weird and hopefully it will wear off but right now it's messing up my emotions. 

                            XOXOXOXOXOXO Mel.

All I Want for Christmas is You...

This basically is my year.  All I want for Christmas is You is my favorite Christmas song like ever but its also tied with Baby it's Cold Outside. 
Note: Those are my favorite secular Christmas songs, my favorite Christian Christmas song is Silent Night.

Both of my fave Christmas songs have to do with guys; sigh.  If you haven't already guessed as of now I am forever alone (don't worry just a phrase, I'm not becoming a nun like some delusional Asian I know).  Said Asian pointed out to me that by watching my friends mess up I will be a better and wiser dater when I'm older.  That is true but I can't help noticing that my calls for that one special guy for Christmas fall on good old Santa's deaf ears and that my "Cold Outside" duet is missing a harmonizing voice.  Normally I'd be fine with my solo act that has been going on for quite some time now but near this joyous holiday I can't help but sigh, so sigh sigh sigh.  Don't get me wrong there's lots of love that I'm getting from friends and family but It's still getting to me.  I think I'd be fine if the guy was some blurry mystery guy that I haven't met yet or a dreamy Hollister guy but sadly it's a guy I go to school with everyday!  Maybe after this annoyingly mistletoe covered Holiday is over I can work on my New Year's Resolutions one of which will be : Last Christmas All I Wanted for Christmas Was You.  On the topic of "crushes" here's my question...
Would you rather be really close to your crush or not that close if you knew they didn't like you that way?

                                                            XOXOXOXOXOXOXO Mel.

Alone

Home alone is probably the best kind of alone because no one can see that you are alone.  This is what yesterday Mel would have said.  Today Mel prefers the solitude...sometimes.

All of my friends had already seen BreakingDawnPartTwo.  I was the only one left who wanted to see it who hadn't.  So, left with no other options, I made the trek to the movie theaters alone.  I had many fears about this.  Would it make me seem like a loner, a desperate would be (age permitting) twi-mom?  No, last time I checked I was still young and hadn't produced any offspring.  So, I walked into the 2nd theater on the left and I sat down.  I watched about 7 trailers and concluded that I'd be coming back to this fair theater to see about 3 of those up and comings.  Then finally, complete with visually cool opening credits, a very well produced twilight came onto the screen.  It was the last of its kind and as promised, it was better than previous despite mediocre acting.  Taylor/ Jacob was looking as attractive as ever and mostly everything was how I pictured it.  Even the "Nobody has ever loved anyone as much as I love you" bogus didn't make me roll my eyes too much.  The cinematography and music were great and my popcorn was buttery. 

So all in all, I had a great time at the theaters all by myself and never found myself belting out the lyrics to the oh so familiar song with that same title.  It was fun and when all was said and done I realized something...I preferred to watch movies alone at home so what's the difference? Who's to say that going to the theater by myself wouldn't become a fun weekend activity when everyone else was busy.

Next time, maybe I'll even tackle dining alone!

                                   XOXOXOXOXO Mel.

                                                                                        

Thanksgiving?

Okay, so you guys should know that I've been too busy to write anything about thanksgiving; I'm living it!  But I cannot disclose whether or not I've been spending those busy hours eating or actually doing something productive.  ;)  I actually spent a lot of time relaxing and not worrying about school or all those little things that tend to annoy the average teenager.  
Note: One Direction loves those little things.

Lastly, I have to leave you now to eat once again.  Goodbye my lovelies.

                           XOXOXOXOXO Mel.

Ignorant People

So, in class today we got an assignment to do a presentation on a civil rights topic.  I kind of excited because its a topic that I'm kind of interested in.  Even though I failed to come up with a topic I still think I will enjoy the assignment.  I understand that not everyone has the same opinion as me, that would be a very boring world but, I just wanted to say something! 

First off, this one girl just didn't want to do ANY topic and she said, "Is there anything not related to African Americans that I can do?"  Now, don't get me wrong, I was also debating whether or not to do women instead but just the way she said it rubbed me the wrong way.  She has been known to be racist in the past but I think I just gave her too much benefit of the doubt seeing as she hadn't said anything too bad of recent.  Then when the teacher said she could have done gays if another student hadn't taken it already she responded with, "I don't want to do them either!" -__-

Secondly, this other girl whom I get along with fairly well, said that she doesn't like this unit and "wishes it (civil rights) never happened."  This made me raise my eyebrows. 

Now I know I live in a mostly Caucasian town so I can chalk it up to just plain ignorance.  They haven't seen enough of the world; they haven't interacted with different types of people.  Some never will but, I hope that someday race relations won't have to be such a big deal.  I hope that these labels will start to disintegrate and people will finally see the person within.


                                     XOXOXOXOXOXO Mel.